Wherein I Theorize

You might be tempted to call this post “random and aimless” but that might tempt me to call you a narrow minded meanhead. To commence proceedings, there is my RockStar theory. A personal favourite complete only when enacted.

Some folks idolize 'rockstars', some tolerate them and only the tiniest minority ever ignores them. Rockstars are cool, period. And you know how it goes - If someone says they are, one must prove they aren't.

Consider rocks, whichever sort you fancy. All rocks -big rocks, small rocks, nice rocks, mean rocks, all rocks- start out as teeny tiny things. They get fatter, they grow older, they grow wiser and then they die. You with me? Right. Now as children we were told that on dying every goes right up and becomes a star. So stars are essentially rocks.

Now, every star -big star, small star, nice star, mean star, every star- starts out as a teeny tiny thing. It gets fatter, it grows older, it grows wiser and then it dies. But see, stars are cooler than rocks - they don't become starrier. They explode. Dhadaam! Crackle, sparkle, crackle. Sometimes, some fragments reach The Big Blue Barn and stay put. These, dear reader, are your rocks. And then they get fatter, grow older, grow wiser... you get it.

Dust, grime, stony stony bits. Rocks, stars. Rockstars, that's right. So when people talk of 'da rokkkstarzz', they're basically talking recycled dust and grime. And minerals and all, yes. Rocks are inanimate, we could go someplace with that but then they wouldn't be allowed to die and my entire theory would have to be reworked. Nyet nyet. Still, between you and me, rockstars suddenly seem so uncool, yeah yeah yeah? :P



Wherein I Warn:
Talk not of how you don't believe the going up to become a star story. You did as a kid, I'm telling you you did. And if you still believe that story... hell, talk not at all! Talk not of how rockstars come and go just like rocks and stars do. Talk not, not ever, if you believe this was reason to kickstart a serious 'discussion' about anything at all.
All ye rocks, all ye stars, I grudge you not your happiness.

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